Old Shoes

How many times in your life have you been in love? I am even talking about the puppy love crushes you had as a young kid in school.

I have been there a few times as a kid, and I remember feeling so good just thinking about the girl I was in love with, and sleep? Sleep was not an option. When I tried sleeping when I had a new girlfriend nothing could stop her from invading all aspects of my life, bedtime, mealtime, school, even when I had to pee.-still walking around with a What the??? Look on my face. Yep, the early stages of love.

Cloud nine? What was that, I was floating on air. Nothing could make you feel sad, mad, or bad,

It is kind of like that new car smell. You just bought a brand-new car. All new vehicles are the same when it comes to the fresh car smell. It is like you raised your status in life. Then the fresh car smell wears off.

But you still love that car-the same with loving a woman. Te newness isn’t as fresh, but in the tenseness of your feelings does. I sometimes know the emotional level of it doesn’t feel the same, and that is when you start the “What the???” and things get confusing because you still want that new car smell. But I have news for you, like that package you open and what comes out never goes back in the same.

That is love.

Now is what I call the midterms of your relationship because this is where your marriage or any commitment starts getting tested. THE comfortable is not quite the stage you at, but it seems the hot, fiery passion appears to have burnt down to a smaller fire.

Things you do that got your partner all kinds of excited now only get a little acknowledgment. And then you stop doing the things that used to work and start trying other things that might but usually don’t work, and you scratch your head and think, “Why?

The???”

Old shoes, comfortable nothing to surprise you, reliable. That is the description of the later part of a marriage. And more times than not, it becomes the beginning of the end. There are steps to avoid this.

Date night is a good step. Make a plan to have a date night every week. And make sure it happens. No excuses to get out of it, you do this, and I promise your relationship will be better for it. Spontaneity is a great equalizer for the boredom of the old shoe syndrome. Take your partner in the bedroom for some afternoon delight out of the blue. I know you will like it, and I promise that your partner will be thinking WOW. Cook dinner without being asked, do some chores that you usually don’t do. Don’t just take for granted that she is going to be there to do for you. If you take her or him for granted one day, he or she won’t be there anymore, and you will be standing scratching your head saying” What the???”

The conclusion of this article is Be there, do all you can, and never take your spouse for granted because, in the end, you will be the loser. And it hurts. For no effort at all you can have a real loving till death, do you part relationship if you remember to treat with respect, love kindness and forgiveness. A little tenderness goes a long way.

And you can never stop saying and showing I LOVE YOU, we all need to hear it and feel it.

Sincerely James Sims

Originally published at https://vocal.media.